Wednesday, 28 September 2016

Fresh & Fabulous After Fifty - Part 2

This post is a continuation from last week’s post (obviously) which I felt ended slightly abruptly. Well the thing is I wanted to do this lovely title some justice which I felt I wasn’t giving it while writing last week and I just told myself; “hold up right there, let’s form some coherent thought on this subject and come up with a part 2.” I went ahead with posting part 1 because I have been trying to achieve consistency and the personal goal is for me to post at least 1 blog post every week which I have proudly done for 2 weeks now. For now I am trying to find my blogging voice and become more comfortable in sharing my thoughts to the world through this blog, it’s kind of like exercising, building blogging muscle and strength.

Now that I have gotten that out of the way I shall move on to the main subject which is looking at the inspirational lives of people above the age of 50 who are fresh and fabulous starting with the famous home cook who still glows on screen at the age of 56 - the oh so lovely Nigella Lawson. I love the domestic goddess Nigella Lawson, and she was one the main inspiration, kind of like the seedlings that produced this fascination and appreciation of wisdom shared by people above the age of 50. Nigella is beautiful in a way that is timeless which is the kind of beauty that lasts long, simply as I do often advocate for – a beauty that is both inside and out. She has this aura that is both natural and goddess like. She preaches to the world about comfort through cooking and eating food and she naturally gives this very comforting feeling to audiences through her personality.

There is so many things I believe we can learn from Nigella. She is like a force of nature that is not intimidating or restricting but is harmonious. Looking at her life and career it can be said that she is someone who has always done what she wanted to do because it feels good and not because she is aspiring to some great goal of accomplishment. She aligns herself with life situations and continues to progress forward in a very natural way.
Nigella’s life story is a complicated mix of both tragedy and privilege. She was born to a wealthy household; her father Nigel Lawson was a prominent politician in Margaret Thatcher’s ( the iron lady of Britain) government and her mother Vanessa was a well known socialite. Her quite wealthy family background is not really what propelled Nigella to become who she is known to the world for because she also had to endure some very painful circumstances in life with her parents divorce, her difficult relationship with her mother, the death of her mother, sister and 1st husband to cancer in the early years of her life and the most recent infamous divorce from ex-husband Charles Saatchi. It is her strength and talent that naturally made her become the most beloved author and television personality internationally and also making her an immovable elegant force of nature. She is a reminder of how unpredictable life is, we never know what’s coming next and all we can do is to always come back from set backs in top form and to never get beaten down by anything in life. Another lesson we can learn from her life story is that being privileged is never an excuse to do nothing but instead we should all be striving to do something we can be proud, something that we love. Vinaka Nigella Lawson – that’s Fijian for ‘thank you Nigella’. I am thanking her just in case some miracle happens and she reads this post. I know silly me but I would really like her to know how much I appreciate her for being a superwoman.

From Britain moving onto America, I have got to talk about Oprah Winfrey. Oprah is Oprah, the big O who is just an extraordinary human being. She is super successful no question about that, Oprah Winfrey is rich. She is not only rich and fulfilled materially but also spiritually too. Oprah is a greatest example and also a preacher of a purpose driven life; seeking that purpose, trusting that purpose and fulfilling that purpose. I love how connected she is to her inner being and how spiritually aware she is. Oprah years ago ended her most successful Television career just to launch into an even bigger career which is starting OWN Network. That is what this post is about which is as long as we have that breath of life  to continue to strive towards exciting adventures and bigger things regardless of how old or how young we are. With Oprah and likewise all of the people I have discussed so far, the key is authenticity and just being our best selves.

Then there is the lady who will soon be running the world - Hillary Clinton. Running for President at that age gives me so much motivation and strength. I admire her stamina and I want her stamina. Just recently, despite suffering from Pneumonia she continued on her campaigning events just to be taken to hospital during one of those events and there is footage showing her collapsing into her car.  The other proof of her stamina was when she was scrutinized in the Benghazi trial for 11 hours. Another aspect of Hillary Clinton is ‘courage’, - she has shown tremendous courage while facing up to all that she  faced in her life and that is the courage I would like to posses. I am certainly looking forward to seeing America’s first female president taking office.

It’s been such a long post isn’t it. As you can see I am very enthusiastic about this subject, it’s kind like me taking time out to think of the very long term which I am very excited about. By looking at these peoples examples I am getting to set myself long term goals. There is so much we can learn from older people out there and as young people we should take a time out and learn. If you are reading this I would like to hear from you; Do you have any people over 50 who inspire you? How do they inspire you? Please do share.

Till the next post please take care and keep on dreaming.

Wednesday, 21 September 2016

Fresh and fabulous over fifty - Part 1

This week I am excited to share how I have been getting inspired by remarkable people aged 50 and above who are proving that there is a great life to look forward to during our middle age and beyond. These are people who are living life to the fullest and show no signs of ever slowing down anytime soon. They look great as ever and even with lines and wrinkles here and there - which they embrace and never try to get rid of. Its their youthful spirit that just shines through overshadowing every other thing that might be of concern to other people who don't embrace old age yet they just float through elegantly. A good sense of humour, playfulness and a continued yearning for adventure is what makes people remain fresh and fabulous after the age of 50.

For us young people its important that we look to older people for inspiration because they have lived it longer and they sure do have much wisdom that we can use as we progress on our journey in life. There is so many things that they have figured out and maybe by listening to them we may get to realise what are the most important things in life that we should be focused on.

There is so many people aged 50 and above out there who are rocking it fresh and fabulous and we can even find them in our very own communities and its important that we go out and find them, have a cup of tea or coffee with them and just talk about life. For this post however my list of fresh and fabulous people after 50 consists of mostly internationally well known people who I am a fan of and who’s approach towards ageing I admire and also setting great examples of how life is to be lived. Information about them is abundantly available on the internet so maybe the next time you search for what Jenifer Lawrence is doing you can also look Hellen Miren up.

Some of those that I find inspirational above the age of 50 are Nigella Lawson, Oprah Winfrey, Wendy Williams, Julianne Moore, Dame Judie Dench, Helen Miren and Oprah Winfrey.

First let's talk about the beloved Helen Miren. I love Helen Miren!! Have you seen the trailer for ‘Collateral Beauty’? Oh my gosh she looked absolutely stunning. In an interview with The Guardian she talks about growing old and she says “The reality is, you either die young or you get old. There is nothing in between.” She futher adds on that the best thing about the 2nd option which I personally prefer is that “...The longer your life, the more you have to remember, and.. have amazing memories.” For Helen Miren at that age it’s a well known fact that she has a steel grip on her career, I love the strong characters she continues to play and if you read up on her interviews you will notice that she has a good command on her life. It is her honest opinions, authenticity and sense of humour that I find endearing about her. She is not afraid to voice out her opinions and is comfortable to express herself. She is not pretentious and she just serves it up as she sees it and as it is. When asked if she felt beautiful she gave an answer that I found very comforting; “I hate that word (beautiful) Kate Moss is beautiful, so is David Beckham, and I can appreciate a beautiful girl walking down the street. Young is beautiful. But the majority of us are something else, and I wish there was another word for it." But does she feel that she looks better now than she ever was “Oh no, I definitely don’t look better now than when I was young. Definitely not. Of course I looked better then. The great thing that happens as you age is that you don’t really give a flying fuck. I don’t look so good, but I don’t care.” That’s definitely a very comfortable attitude to have and it requires inner confidence like Helen Miren to say "You take me with my attitude or don’t have me."

Another L’Oréal Ambassador and actress who’s approach towards life I love is Julianne Moore. In this very globalised world that we are in we young people are conditioned to strive to be as successful and accomplished as early as possible in life. I myself feel this internal pressure as if I am racing against time. I set myself lofty goals to achieve before I turn 25 and all my life plans are due by the time I turn 30 whereby I shouldve accomplished all my goals. So reading about people like Julianne Moore who are slowly but steadily enjoying success and accomplishment is heart warming. "I don’t think that early success really serves anybody. What are you going to do for the rest of your life? What do you aspire to? It’s all about doing work because you like doing it. That’s what will sustain you, rather than doing it for fame or recognition." Those were her words in an interview with The Telegraph and it really changed my perspective, like I get to loosen the strings a bit and allow myself some room to properly breathe and live more mindfully with much contentment too. To take life each day as it comes. She goes on further saying "I’ve learnt that you have to appreciate every minute. Don’t wish your life away. Be present..If you’re 50 you’re never going to be 50 ever again so enjoy being 50.”

To be continued next week....

*Sorry but I'll see you next week friend, I got to go now but I really would like to talk more about this properly. Coming up next week I'll be discussing the Domestic godess Nigella Lawson, beloved Dame Judie Dench and the big O, Oprah. See you at this very space same time next week. 😊 Please feel free to give your opinion as to how we can prepare for a fresh and fabulous life after 50 or maybe you can share people who inspire you.

Okay than byeeieee, take care and all the best in whatever you get to do.

Monday, 12 September 2016

Thick Skin and an Internal Cooling System

The Nasty People

At times we find ourselves placed in situations where we have to do the tango with people who linger in the moments of making our life a living nightmare. Some people are just mean and awful. People who provoke bad feelings and negativity. Sometimes I feel that the world would be a whole lot better if these people vanished...pfffhh!!..gone. “Wow Kaliova thats some strong words to say", well yes cant help it, I am just human and these are just natural feelings that I feel in the moment of heat. I know some you would agree with me that there are people who push us to the bottom of our humane self, to the point where we are not so much merciful and compassionate in our wishes towards them. For me its just a wish and I would never want it to materialize.
Okay the underlying issue here that I am trying to discuss is that there are special people who occasionally come into our lives that we need to create a defence system against. These are people whose atrocious behaviour towards us is fuelled by personal deficiencies or some pure form of hate, things that we have no control over. The ones who just want to destroy us, the ruthless, heartless nincompoops who seem to be made out of steel ( but they are not because somewhere in there somethings wrong) and just oozes toxic chemicals out of their mouth ( someone should create a special mouth wash for them ). Like what August Waters deliciously says in the movie ‘Fault in our stars’ “Pain deserves to be felt” therefore strong feelings needs strong words to be felt.
Now like I said before their actions towards us are driven by things beyond out control like racism, sexism, facism and all those other bad forms of ‘..isms’, ‘..ations’ and ‘..phobias’. Also they could be jealous, threatened or intimidated by our natural awesomeness. Yes! Those kind of people!
So what do we do when they are hurling fireballs at us and trying to destroy the Kingdom that we have been trying to build. How do we bear their wrath and how to come out of it a victor? What we need is a thick skin and an internal cooling system or else we will crash and burn baby...boom..crash and burn but that will not happen with a thick skin and an internal cooling system.

Thick Skin

Growing a thick skin is basically not internalising the cruel negative remarks or negative behaviour of negative people in our lives. It’s receiving an atrocious comment on our left ear and then letting it exit from our right ear without processing it in between (in our mind). It’s not easy I get it, I struggle with this myself. I get a cold rush over me in such situations and so it is a challenge for me to practice not internalising and giving negative remarks a second thought. You know with haters, it’s never us with the problem, it’s their problem they want to be hateful and they should deal with it themselves. So having a thick skin is to have a thick layer of protection around us that protects the ‘nasties’  from our internal being, that we may be unaffected and unbroken through all the turmoil we face.

Internal Cooling System

An Internal Cooling system sounds cool right? Even more cooler is the fact that it’s not that complicated at all. In the moments when nasty negative haters are coming at us with their awful wrath that it increases natural body temperature to Arabian desert hot we need to zone out and imagine that somewhere in our core or soul there is a large fan that emits the coolest and nicest breeze. Don’t just imagine that fan, switch it on. Yes, switch that thing on and stretch out your arms like you are Rose (or Jack) in Titanic. That imaginary cool breeze is just the thing to keep us from exploding.

My dear friends the foundation for having a thick skin and an internal cooling system is self preservation, self confidence and contentment. Our utmost priority should be to preserve ourselves and our dignity, create a strong fort against all odds. Preserve and protect our dreams and aspirations, stay focussed on the bigger picture. Be confident and content at all times. Life is cooler when we are confident and content.

Love always,