Getting More Acquainted With My My Drinks.

I was never a fan of Alcohol and I certainly don't admire Alcoholics because my father was an alcoholic and there were a few bad experiences that reminds me of the ugly side of heavy alcohol consumption. I dreaded the taste of it, and even the smell of it.

As a University student it is a norm or a culture that you got to love alcohol and got to go out partying every weekend.  So eventually I get to come into interaction with alcohol.My friends usually begged me to drink. They took pleasure in seeing me drink, they would usually go 'Please just one glass' and then once I manage to shove that one glass of alcahol down my throat they would insist on few more glasses until I am in the zone with them, DrUnK^^.....

I never saw drinking as a way to relieve stress, as a matter of fact I never really saw any benefit of drinking. However I did enjoy going out clubbing with my friends without the intention of getting drunk. I was always going for the sake of dancing, I love dancing. I love dancing in the club because the atmosphere is very conducive of acting crazy and dancing our hearts out. Another reason is that most people will be too drunk to remember what happened the previous night or maybe they might be too embarrassed of their own mishaps that they don't really care about how others were acting foolish.

It was just recently that I started experiencing a certain level of comfort and joy in drinking alcohol. Now I gulp the drink down without that yucky and dreadful feeling. I think it was during the end of a week long event that I actually developed this sense of appreciation acceptance towards alcohol. It was a very long and exciting week and I think I would have had a nervous breakdown if I didn't join my friends for a few drinks that night. During that drinking session I found great joy, comfort and happiness while sitting down, chatting and slowly getting intoxicated with every glass that I willingly accepted to drink. Many occasional drinks from then onward, I think I would say I have become tougher with holding my drinks, I don't cringe and make a disgust face now as I used to. However I think it is best to drink moderately in order to derive pleasure and relief from it and I will be very careful not to become an alcoholic. There are 2 things I try my best not to become; a slave to alcohol and a smoker of any kind of substance.

There has been many Epic experiences recently while being intoxicated, like this Birthday Wish I wrote to my friend in the Club. I was anxious about my Semester Results so after wishing my friend Happy Birthday, I asked her to "......Please pray for me!! I wanna graduate". 

Week 3. Mouth Widen Open, Staring Blankly At The Wall. Thinking Where To Start.

School has definitely been keeping me on my feet. Also the Extra Curricular responsibilities has also been taking much a huge proportion of my thinking and energy. It is tough to have to focus on school and also at the same time worrying over fulfilling other responsibilities. But I wont complain, I am seeing it as a challenge. A challenge to become an embodiment of my Icons and the following list is in the specific order in which I discovered them and fell in love with them; Beyonce, Tyra Banks, Eva Longoria, Halle Berry, Aishwariya Rai, Kerry Washington and the recent induction Charlize Theron. I admit that I want to be a combination of all these great women who fascinate me so much with their strength, intelligence, work ethics and humility.

I have been part of this Organisation called Rainbow Pride Foundation Limited and it is in its baby stages...It was recently launched this year as a Company Limited by Guarantee. It is a Not for Profit Organization that focuses on addressing and promoting the welfare of people from the Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender, Intersex and Queer (LGBTIQ) community. I am one of the Directors in the company, I am told that I was chosen because they wanted a good mix in the board of directors and so I happen to represent the youth population. I also happen to be assigned the Treasurers role because of my Finance background and the fact that other Directors have no experience in the business field. The first few tasks that were assigned to me, was to collect membership fees from all the current directors, create a youth wing for the organization and create a new bank account. How has the progress been with these assigned tasks....Big percentage away from completion. It may seem simple, but hell no its a lot of work that requires a lot of running around and very importantly resources. As much as I would like to do all this things to perfection, having scarce resources is one of the limitations that limits what I am capable of achieving. Today after my lecture which ended at 12pm I went to town to get started with the opening of a bank account. They told me to come again tomorrow with all the Original documents so as to formally start the process. To create a business bank account you will first have to have a Business search with a fee charged, so after your business gets approved than you can open a bank account. The amount of documents that is needed, wooo... alot, and I have to admit that I hate the process of collating documents. But I will manage..I think it will not be as hard as it seems, like many things, its usually the big technical names that scares people.

Hope to get all these things sorted out, so that I can wholesomely divert myself to my studies. By the way I have been consistent with my class attendance and tutorial participation. That reminds me...I have a tutorial in 2 minutes time. Ok then see you later. 

Never Ending Troubles and Worries.

Problems for me so far has been like peeling layers off an onion...continuous. After one problem is solved or goes away, another one avails itself.

So yesterday morning I woke up feeling great because one of the biggest uncertainties in my life so far has been addressed and the outcome was very promising and assuring of success. The thing is I am very sure now that I will complete my tertiary education and graduate with a Degree in Economics and Finance soon. So that was just a huge relief and a big burden off my shoulders. Just as I was getting ready to start my day at Uni yesterday with a celebratory mood my cousin confronts me (In a respectful way) with this news that just slapped me in the face and got me off 'Lalah' land. I just stood there looking at her and thinking to myself 'here comes another episode.' I have to admit that for a brief moment I was thinking cant I just have a little break. Nevertheless my reaction to it was calm....well I felt calm. I didnt feel frustrated at all and in my head I was saying.. "yup I can overcome this...I may not know how to overcome it now, but I will...eventually..I will give this problem a kung fu kick and it will disappear.... just like I have done in the past".

I guess I am an expert at facing adversities that nowadays I am more composed and calm at such situations. I do acknowledge that life has its up and downs.I am always greatful for the many blessings in my life. I believe that I am never forsaken because God is watching over me and guiding me. I believe that everything happens for a reason. I have this great spiritual awareness within me that everything is connected. Like somethings were meant to happen in order for this other thing to happen. Like we have to face some adversities in order to experience better things or even greater things. With this belief, I think that is a reason why I have grown to accept and even to some extent love challenges ( But I don't instigate trouble intentionally to entertain myself). On that note I remember watching this TV series called Touch and I was like..."woahh this TV is series is so cool".... because I just started developing this belief and coincidentally I get to be watching a TV series that is all about this new found belief of mine. The belief of being Universally connected and being guided by a superior force that I like to call God.

I love God and honestly I could not go through life without God because he has been a great safety net, a source of comfort and God has always known whats best for me. With this belief in the Godly force I get to sail through my troubles and worries safely no matter how rough the seas are. During those dark and stormy times, God is the belief that I clench tightly too that I will reach ashore safely. But that doesn't mean that I take advantage of Gods blessing and basically sit down and wait for things to happen because I believe it will only happen if we go out into the world and give all our efforts. I remember very well watching J.K Rowlings powerful Harvard Commencement speech on you tube and she says that "It is impossible to live without failing at something, unless you live so cautiously that you might as well not have lived at all – in which case, you fail by default." It is through our failures and mistakes that God get to pick us up and make us more taller, wiser and stronger than before.

This is one of the pictures taken from an advocacy campaign that I did in collaboration with local youth group 'Youth Champs 4 Mental Health' earlier this year, a campaign focusing on eliminating stigma attached with Mental Health. I love this picture because of the message "There is always Hope". Its important that we tell ourselves this, no matter how bleak the situation maybe. 

New Semester, New Strategies, New Journey.

I am always thankful to be back in school every semester. This is due to the fact that before coming to University I was told many stories of how many young people who leave their homes from my community get into all sorts of nonsense and goes back home not completing their studies. I was constantly reminded of what have happened and what could happen to me if I get carried away by the big city lights of Suva. These stories automatically have become a part of me, manifesting itself as a fear. An alert button that goes off when I am neglecting my studies.That is why I am always on my feet doing whatever I can to return every semester because I don't want to be part of the statistics and plus the humiliation that comes with it. People will definitely have a lot to talk about if that happens.

 Its not only about the humiliation of failing that drives me to work hard. It is also this genuine desire to make my parents happy and to repay them back for all the sacrifices that they have been making for me. On that note during a recent trip back home I heard from my mother how my father had this slight insecurity of whether I will actually remember my family once I become successful. I laughed when my mother told me this, because it is actually something I expected as I haven't been going back home as often as I used to do, I hardly called them. I am glad I was given that opportunity to clear out those doubts and worries. I assured my mother that they are my greatest motivation of why I want to succeed. I want to make them proud and happy. I have a vision of what I actually would like to do for my parents when I become successful. Something like what Halle Berry did for her mother instantly when she started doing well.
 
So the first week has begun. Its the third day now. As of now all I am doing is trying to get few formalities sorted with regards to classes and the scholarship gang ( I liked saying that because it is the cool way of saying it ). I just recently cleared one of my student holds and I have finally seen my results from last semester. I am impressed by what I managed to get, and that is a hats off to all the hard work that was put into last semester. This semester I will put into practice all the wisdom I have gained from last semester. I will try to do a few things a little bit differently this semester. I hope to put in a few more ounce of heart and soul into my studies. If one thing I have learned from all my role models is that a good education is a necessity, it is a platform where you develop your work ethics and the skill of problem solving. I have seen firsthand the importance of being very critical and in knowing the work that you are doing. We will only be able to articulate ourselves well and win the hearts of people if we have great understanding in terms of information and knowledge. I would like to perceive this semester as a training ground that will enable me to become the person whom I want to be.

This semester I have registered for 4 units; Macroeconomic Analysis, Development Economics, Small Business Finance and Financial Risk Management. By the way I am majoring in Economics in Finance.I am loading up this semester because I want to graduate soon. I just cant wait to receive that degree. This semester I hope to merge my studies with everything that I do, to put into practice what I am actually learning. Who knows I might blog about my assignment topics or any random topic from my classes in general. I hope to spice up my love life with my studies. This semester I want to work on Consistency and Quality. I want to do everything Consistently and make my work of good Quality. I will definitely be blogging about my journey through this semester. Something to keep me engaged. Again "Consistency" and "Quality".

And Semester 2, 2014 begins.

The Tuesday night I caught the fever.

It was on Tuesday the 16th of July that I happened to catch the Fever. So basically as of the time I am writing this post now I ll be referring it to as Yesterday. So I have been on the road with my travelling bag for the past 3 weeks. The first week was spent in Southern Cross Hotel, Suva for the Youth Advocacy Training, the second week was spent in my favorite hideaway place Nadave for CCF's  National Youth Forum. This week I am in Hexagon Hotel, Nadi for the 2nd Part of CCF's Youth Advocacy Training and this time I am an assistant to the facilitators, change of role from the last one where I was a participant.Travelling like this has been one of my dreams come true. I have been waking up every morning saying 'Life Is But A Dream'.

This is the only picture I managed to find from Yesterday. It was taken before the training's morning tea. 

Yesterday was an interesting day. The day I caught the fever. After the successful completion of the training session  yesterday which ended at 4 pm in the evening, my good friend Vilisi instigated an adventurous idea for us to travel to the neighboring city of Lautoka to watch a movie in the Cinema Village 4 as there is no cinema here in Nadi. I was reluctant to go at first as my initial plan was to stay back in the room, dye my hair brown, watch television and go to sleep early. But then after seeing the hype and excitement of my fellow friends Vilisi, Pene and Marie it was just too hard to resist and I just had to give in and go along with them. Mind you the brown hair dye that I applied was still on my hair when we left. It was cleaned up in the Cinemas washroom sink with low pressure water. Imagine the strugle I faced with black stuff ozzing down my face slowly just before watching the movie Deliver Us From Evil. If someone saw me that person would have freaked out thinking I was possessed with the devil from the movie itself. Great thing was that the only thing packed in my bag apart from my wallet was a body towel. I managed to clean myself up and join Vilisi for the movie. Pene and Marie never found anything interesting to watch so they went for a visit to Marie's house. Mind you Marie is from Lautoka herself.

The movie theatre was occupied by only 4 others apart from the 2 of us. I loved watching the horror movie, the partially empty room gave us more comfort to scream out loud during the scary scenes. I think we spent more time laughing rather then being scared. But I totally agree with the movie of the fact that the existance of evil demonic forces does exist and that sometimes the solution to certain unique problems is not medical intervention but spiritual intervention such as exorcism. I have never seen firsthand an exorcism but I have heard a lot about it from friends and I once heard a possessed girl speaking though a phone. It was so spooky hearing that girl respond to questions asked through the phone by this man who was kind of like an exorcist.

The movie lives up to its name 'Deliver us from evil' and to the Posters advert above.

 Just after the movie we met up with the other 2 adventurers and made a quick stop dinner at this cool restaurant called Tigers restaurant for a quick bite before hoping onto a mini van to head back to Nadi.
It was at the Mini Van that I caught the fever. So initially I was meant to sit with this singer from a very popular band here in Fiji called Makare but then once the van started getting full this woman asked if I could sit at the back because she couldnt fit at the limited space that was available at the back sit of the mini van. I kindly agreed because it was the polite thing to do. At the back seat I was sitting uncomfortably squashed between big people. Just as the van was about to move this gorgeous thing just happened to get in and sit in front on the floor because it was full. As the van proceeded a bit in front a few people got off in the front sit and 2 seats became vacant. With so much relief  I moved in front to the vacant front seat where Mr Georgeous was already sitting in. When I approached him to shift so that I could sit, his instant reaction created a comfort zone that we started conversing straight away as if we have previously known each other. With so much humor he tried to make me confess that I came in front because I saw him. He was also flirting but in a fun and respectful kind of way. We discussed a lot during that 45 mins ride. It ranged from how the weather in Nadi has changed in the past few days which he attributed to my presence here in Nadi to the human heart and how it needs to be wide. Somewhere between Nadi and Lautoka there was a Police checkpoint and the police had to check everyone in the van. Now this is the part where I catch the Fever. So after the van successfully leaves the checkpoint he goes on and tells me this story. He tells me that I should be thankful to him because he just saved me from being arrested and he gives me few lovely compliments of how cool of an On The Run fugitive I look like tonight. He tells me how he is a hero who saved everyone life in the car and especially me who's presence in the car posed a threat to everyone elses welfare. I was just sitting there blown away by his soft and smoothly spoken imaginative stories. He respectfully goes on and tells me that we should meet again soon and he asks me where do I prefer to meet him again but I gave a funny answer because I dont like things planned. Plans never happen, it will be great to meet again soon...but it will be more sweeter if we meet again coincidentally. But nevertheless I woke up early this morning with a Fever.

He told me a story similar to Jay and Beys On The Run Trailer. Today I was feeling Gangstah with a Fever!  

The Beginning of what has already Begun ( In my head )

I have always thought about starting a blog but I have never actually found the appropriate time, enough courage and the motivation to actually start one. It was a goal that I set up for myself at the beginning of this year and I wanted to launch my blogging journey at the beginning of the first semester this year at Uni which just came to an end a few weeks ago. Ok yes I never did achieve that goal! But let me justify myself why I haven't been able to...Before I do that I have to admit that I do have a constant battle with the problem I like to call the 'Lazy P' > Procrastination. Ohhh how I hate that word so much that sometimes I wish Procrastination was a person that I could beat up or maybe separate myself from myself and physically beat myself up. But I have been fighting it and its always a glorious moment when I triumph over the Lazy P, it seriously feels so good. The reason why I haven't blogged till this glorious day is because for the past few months it has been the greatest pleasure of mine to be inundated with curricular and extra-curricular activities that has shaped me so much as a person, memorable experiences which has deepen my spirituality, widened my knowledge and understanding of the world around me and also increased my level of confidence. I just wasn't able to find a descent time to sit down and actually pour my heart out in writing at least a blog post that is worth someones time to read. My time at Uni during last semester was torn between studies and advocacy work. So many things happened, and I feel that some of those key life changing events needs a blog spot of their own. I am not beaten up over not being able to achieve that goal because if one thing I have learned is that I need to be realistic of what I can actually achieve and to take on a load which I can handle. Its all about Quality over Quantity.

So now I have the perfect platform and opportunity to start a blog without any inhibitions as I am currently at a Citizens Constitutional Forum Youth Advocacy Training program. Its semester break so I am very much excited about being part of it in order to keep me away from the boredom of staying at home and doing nothing. As a university student I get too accustomed with all the hustling and bustling and the struggles of attending classes, completing assignments and studying for exams that when there is nothing to do it feels so restless and stressful. Before attending the training my initial goal was to come in and meet new people and make friends with them, make good use of all the privileges such as the free food and free WIFI and atleast learn somethings which I dont have the perfect idea of what exactly I want to learn. Then when the training began the facilitator Dr Vanisha Mishra Vakaoti who is a brilliant blogger herself made us pledge to commit to achieving something within the next 24 hours. We are allowed, actually we are encourged to use social media during the training and while on facebook I came across a link to Dr Vanisha's  awesome Blog site A Life Un-Styled and while reading through, it instantly occured to me that this is finally the moment that I have been waiting to start blogging. I am going to start blogging today itself, there will never be a better time to start the journey than this particular moment. I have many things that I feel passionate about and I have many moments and events which gets me thinking deeply about life. So I feel that maybe instead of just keeping it within the confines of my personal diary and within the personal conversations that I have with friends I could actually write them out in a blog. Experience so far has taught me that as humans we connect with each other one way or another, you know like those moments where we go "Oh my Gosh! I feel the same way too" or "I have had similar experiences like that too." Also  sometimes what people actually say may actually inspire change within us or motivate us more. Thats why I feel that its important to share with as many people as possible what inspires and motivates us or any experience that we face whether it be positive or negative because we never know whos life it might impact out there.

Briefing session before Youth Advocacy training with group member Aatika.

Highlights of last semester, One Billion Rising Flash Mob.