As I come home from school in the afternoon on Wednesday last week, a friend who also lives under the same building as me delightfully greets me, the kind of greeting that someone usually gives when they need something from you. Apparently he did need something from me; he needed an advice on a problem that he has been facing. I am usually flattered when people ask me for advice and I am more than willing to offer abundantly provided that I have some to offer. This was not the first time that he has asked for advice from me and I remember the last time I was very sure and more passionate with my response.This time around I was caught off guard because I wasn’t able to find any answer. For the 1st couple of minutes after he asked his question, I just stood there looking into his eyes, with a smile on my face as I couldn’t really figure out at that moment how to solve that problem because I myself was struggling with solving my own similar kind of problem. I don’t know about you all but for me I can’t really prescribe a medicine that I myself don’t personally understand. So what I did was try to unfold layer by layer what the situation at hand was for him so I asked him questions just to get a better understanding. What happened was we ended up both laughing at ourselves because as he opened up more I couldn’t help but admit to him that we were exactly on the same boat.
Through that conversation with that friend of mine I discovered how difficult it is for some of us to get over that special someone. I am always telling myself that I am better than how my special person treats me or how I feel that he values me to be. I try as hard to get that person out of my mind but it is difficult. I am always thinking about him every other 2 days. When he sends me messages I am on top of the world and I get this huge smile on my face. I tend to blush too. I am aware of how unfairly he treats me and how I am way better off without him anywhere close to me, my mind is clear and I am able to focus on all my dreams and aspirations. He claims that he is a realist and likes to shoot me down many times when I get too enthusiastic about something. He makes me feel dumb too most of the time. So what I would usually do is I work hard at proving him wrong. Everything that I do I do it with the awareness that he is looking and I am always acting in a way that would make him have a good image of me. I know this is all so sad but then he does have some good sides to him like the fact that he is so intelligent, passionate, humorous, full of energy with a big personality. If you ask me do I still like him; oh hell yes I still like him but the thing is "Us" is not possible in this lifetime because he is moving ahead into greener pastures. I dream about him a lot of times, its like he is haunting me. Okay, yeah it's kinda that bad! We still do talk every now and then and I try to make things look like everything is alright and I am unaffected.
Has things at least improved a bit over time? Yeah a bit. I don't think about him as much as I used to. I am not that obsessed. The reason being is that now I have strongly determined in my heart that I am going to do me, I am going to pursue my dreams with a greater force and that is my one and only priority. So all else have been swept to the back of my mind. Having that mentality has helped me. At the end of the day we have to choose our happiness and that requires us to think rationally. We need to appreciate all the things that we have and give our heart, mind and soul to what truly matters.Self confidence also helps. We need to be confident with who we are and in the decisions that we are going to make. Be confident enough to know that you deserve way much better. I think I have said this before but then I am going to say it again; We should never let other people or circumstances define who we are and how happy we can be. Never let that power slip from us. You should grasp that power to yourself, own it and embrace it. So therefore my dear friend go ahead and Be Free, Be You and Be Happy.
|Cheers to a new beginning friend!|