Monday, 12 September 2016

Thick Skin and an Internal Cooling System

The Nasty People

At times we find ourselves placed in situations where we have to do the tango with people who linger in the moments of making our life a living nightmare. Some people are just mean and awful. People who provoke bad feelings and negativity. Sometimes I feel that the world would be a whole lot better if these people vanished...pfffhh!!..gone. “Wow Kaliova thats some strong words to say", well yes cant help it, I am just human and these are just natural feelings that I feel in the moment of heat. I know some you would agree with me that there are people who push us to the bottom of our humane self, to the point where we are not so much merciful and compassionate in our wishes towards them. For me its just a wish and I would never want it to materialize.
Okay the underlying issue here that I am trying to discuss is that there are special people who occasionally come into our lives that we need to create a defence system against. These are people whose atrocious behaviour towards us is fuelled by personal deficiencies or some pure form of hate, things that we have no control over. The ones who just want to destroy us, the ruthless, heartless nincompoops who seem to be made out of steel ( but they are not because somewhere in there somethings wrong) and just oozes toxic chemicals out of their mouth ( someone should create a special mouth wash for them ). Like what August Waters deliciously says in the movie ‘Fault in our stars’ “Pain deserves to be felt” therefore strong feelings needs strong words to be felt.
Now like I said before their actions towards us are driven by things beyond out control like racism, sexism, facism and all those other bad forms of ‘..isms’, ‘..ations’ and ‘..phobias’. Also they could be jealous, threatened or intimidated by our natural awesomeness. Yes! Those kind of people!
So what do we do when they are hurling fireballs at us and trying to destroy the Kingdom that we have been trying to build. How do we bear their wrath and how to come out of it a victor? What we need is a thick skin and an internal cooling system or else we will crash and burn baby...boom..crash and burn but that will not happen with a thick skin and an internal cooling system.

Thick Skin

Growing a thick skin is basically not internalising the cruel negative remarks or negative behaviour of negative people in our lives. It’s receiving an atrocious comment on our left ear and then letting it exit from our right ear without processing it in between (in our mind). It’s not easy I get it, I struggle with this myself. I get a cold rush over me in such situations and so it is a challenge for me to practice not internalising and giving negative remarks a second thought. You know with haters, it’s never us with the problem, it’s their problem they want to be hateful and they should deal with it themselves. So having a thick skin is to have a thick layer of protection around us that protects the ‘nasties’  from our internal being, that we may be unaffected and unbroken through all the turmoil we face.

Internal Cooling System

An Internal Cooling system sounds cool right? Even more cooler is the fact that it’s not that complicated at all. In the moments when nasty negative haters are coming at us with their awful wrath that it increases natural body temperature to Arabian desert hot we need to zone out and imagine that somewhere in our core or soul there is a large fan that emits the coolest and nicest breeze. Don’t just imagine that fan, switch it on. Yes, switch that thing on and stretch out your arms like you are Rose (or Jack) in Titanic. That imaginary cool breeze is just the thing to keep us from exploding.

My dear friends the foundation for having a thick skin and an internal cooling system is self preservation, self confidence and contentment. Our utmost priority should be to preserve ourselves and our dignity, create a strong fort against all odds. Preserve and protect our dreams and aspirations, stay focussed on the bigger picture. Be confident and content at all times. Life is cooler when we are confident and content.

Love always,